Visual Intensity | Make Him Worship You In Bed

Visual Intensity: Be So Sexy His Eyeballs BURN with Lust

If you are like most women (read: you don’t earn a living as a swimsuit model) chances are you have felt inclined to cover up or at least not parade around in the buff when you are getting busy.

This lesson is ALL ABOUT how to change your thinking so you CAN feel amazing during sex because you know exactly how to play up your best assets to the hilt.

You are also going to give him the biggest visual THRILL…something he’s only dreamed of really! Searing the hot image of you and your gorgeous body onto his brain FOREVER.

You can do this even if you don’t feel supremely confident about your body. If that sounds outlandish right now, stick with me!

As I’ve said many times: men are HIGHLY VISUAL creatures! 🙂

And going back to the lesson on brain chemistry in Language of Desire, you already know that dopamine can get triggered by visual cues.

This lesson is all about playing up your best assets and giving him some visual thrills during sex.

In this lesson you are going to discover…

How to confidently play up your assets
A variety of techniques to nearly set his gaze on FIRE
AND how to add romance into your life (gee, and here you thought I hated romance!)

First, I am a firm believer that every woman can feel sexy, regardless of her “looks”, and I also know that the number one thing men are attracted to when it comes to sex is enthusiasm.

This lesson isn’t about conforming to a certain standard of beauty or anything…it’s about playing up the parts of your body that you (and he) love!

I will use myself as an example…

I’ve already shared with you that I’m no supermodel. I carry some extra weight and like most women, have a few places that are “works in progress” when it comes to loving my body.

However, I do have great boobs.

They are a little saggier after having two kids and hitting middle-age, but I can hike my girls up in a great push-up bra and they look fantastic.

I also have long hair with a ton of blond highlights. Like down to the middle of my back long. These are my two favorite physical features. Even if I’m feeling bloated or not-so-great (we ALL have those days), I can focus my attention on my hair and my tits to feel sexy.

Because I know my guy also appreciates these assets, I intentionally draw his attention to them. It’s a win-win, I feel adored and he revels in having a woman who enjoys being sexy.

I will purposely wear my hair up in a bun or some kind of up-do and then deliberately take it out while he’s watching. Letting my long wavy locks slowly tumble around my shoulders and then give it a good shake. Then I will make eye contact and wink at him. He melts. I can do this before bed when sexy-time might be imminent, but I can also do this any old time of day, and know that the vision of me letting my hair down totally turns him on.

I have invested in a few awesome bras as well as corset-type lingerie that make my boobs look great. When I wear these pieces, even if under my clothes, I feel incredible. I stand a little taller and I know I ooze confidence. I will purposely leave my bra on when we get busy sometimes.

Taking care to showcase my rack by being on top or by leaning over to give him ridiculous cleavage all up in his face.

In certain sexual positions, and particularly while giving him head, I will use my hair to create a curtain of sorts. Then I will sweep it away, or fling it away with a head toss, and look him straight in the eye.

It slays him every single time.

We both love it!

Playing Up Your Best Assets

Now that I’ve shared a few of my visual aids, let’s cover a whole bunch of ideas you can use! First though, how do you know what your best assets are?

Think about these questions:

What do you enjoy about your physical looks?
What do you get compliments on?
What clothes does he request you wear or get excited by? What body part does that accentuate?
What positions does he tend to favor during sex? What body part of yours is on full display?

That should give you the answers you need. And if you are still stumped, read through all of these suggestions and experiment by trying them out!

Legs

If you’ve got gorgeous gams that go for miles, play them up before and during sex.

After exiting the shower, and with him watching, make an exaggerated show of putting lotion on your legs. Lean over in an exaggerated way or prop a leg up on the counter. Slowly massage moisturizer on from your ankles to your hips.
Serve him a home-cooked (or take out) romantic meal and wear something sexy just for him. Like short-shorts or a micro-mini so he can salivate over how amazing your legs look while salivating over the delicious food, too. Use an instant bronzer or a product like airbrush legs to have them extra glisten-y and luscious.
On your back in a modified missionary, extend your legs straight up. Ask him to grab your ankles or calves and move your legs apart in a big wide V. If you are also blessed with flexibility, this can be really fun where he might be able to push your legs into a wide spread-eagle or near split position.
If you are daring, and have good flexibility, try this standing up sex position. Extend one leg up and over his shoulder or up and wrapped around his waist if he’s tall. You can lean against a wall or a heavy piece of furniture for balance. He can hold your leg while thrusting. If you can wear a killer pair heels at the same time, go for it!
Invest in a beautiful stockings and garter set. There is something so provocative about a woman wearing stockings. Leave them on during sex.

Booty/Hips

If your guy is a butt-man, here are some awesome ways to capitalize on that!

Hands down, doggie style is the best. He gets the view of your luscious ass as he’s penetrating you. Encourage him to give you a spank, too.
Another position to try is a modified doggie style. Instead of being on all fours, stand and lean over. If you are flexible enough you can rest your hands on the floor in front you, even shifting into a downward dog yoga stance. Or, you can bend over and lean onto the bed or a chair. This gives him a slightly different view of your booty that enhances your hips and waist at the same time – gravity lifts your cheeks up and forward.
Gather a collection of cute booty-showcasing undies – or go buy some new ones. Cheeky boy shorts, thongs, g-strings, lacy panties with ruching in the middle are are great choices. Put on some music and give him a little fashion show. It’s playful and fun for him to watch you strut your stuff.
Go commando OR leave your panties on under a skirt. This is a great tactic to amp up a sense of urgency. For example, on the way home after a date, kiss him passionately in the car then stumble in the door. Lean over the back of the couch and flip up your skirt begging him to take you right then. If you have panties on, don’t take them off. Have him just push them to the side. It’s super hot to be so caught up in the moment you can’t even take an extra two seconds to take off your clothes.

More Boobs!

Okay, there really isn’t a ladylike way to say this, but if your man has a thing for boobs, invite him to “titty-f*ck” you.

There is actually a lot of men who have this fetish so it’s definitely a fun (and low-risk) trick to include in your sexual toolkit.

This technique is where you lay on your back and he straddles you. You press your boobs together creating a “tunnel” for him to put his penis into/between. Sure, it’s slightly strange the first time to look down between your breasts and see the head of his wiener poking through and toward your face. But the sensation is pretty amazing for him.

And the visual of your breasts pushed together as he “penetrates” them is hot for a guy who loves boobs. Also, it’s one of those ways to bring back the thrill of the forbidden as this has been a technique teenagers have used in place of “going all the way”.

You’ll definitely want to have some lube handy as dry skin-to-skin thrusting can be uncomfortable for you both. Push your breasts together to create as much friction as possible. He can keep going until climax, at which point he will release himself on your tits, neck, abdomen, or face (if you’re okay with that). It also doesn’t have to be a complete act in itself, it’s a fun thing to use as foreplay, too.

Odds ‘n Ends

Men list countless things they love about women’s looks so here is a collection of ideas, a visual grab-bag 🙂

Full lips, red lips: Some guys really love luscious and juicy lips. We women know that lipstick and gloss can look great yet cause a real mess when it gets smeared on our faces. One idea is to look for a good lip-staining product (vs. lipstick). Get a dark red one then layer clear gloss over it. The visual of you giving him a blow-job with your juicy red lips adds a spicy element yet won’t cause you to look like a crazy clown after you finish.
Gorgeous manicured nails, pretty hands: Men appreciate well-cared for hands and nails. Our hands are smaller and daintier than theirs is a big reason why, it reminds them of their masculine strength in comparison. Treat yourself to a manicure, even try out longer acrylic nails if you generally keep yours short. Then with the lights on ask him to watch you give him the best hand job of his life. Check out the bonus guide the Velvet Hand you got with this purchase!
Wigs: If you want to give him the thrill of sex with a “stranger” don a wig. Especially effective if you give him a blow-job kneeling in front of him, he will look down and see a totally unfamiliar hair-do. It’s an easy and fun way to spice things up.
Foot fetish: Even if he doesn’t have a full-blown foot fetish, putting on a pair of stilettos or thigh-high boots during sex allows him to admire your feminine (and sexy) feet.

The Romance Factor

Here’s a funny thing…if you ask most women if they are “romantic” they will say yes. However, what they really mean is they want a man to romance THEM. They don’t put a lot of effort into creating the romance themselves.

I might even be describing YOU.

Maybe you sort of hope, and expect, him to be the one to do the romancing. Look, I know I’ve told you how men aren’t naturally romantic – especially when it comes to using flowery language vs. explicit dirty talk. Some guys get it and make the effort to romance their women but for most of us, these expressions might be limited to Valentine’s Day or anniversaries.

Listen, there is nothing wrong with you taking the romantic lead from time to time. There are universal expressions of romance and love that everyone can appreciate, regardless of gender.

It’s about creating an experience. Setting the mood. Enhancing the moment.

I want you to take the time to purposely create a romantic atmosphere for sex.

Turn off the lights and light a whole bunch of candles (just take care to place them where they won’t get knocked over!). Candles do sound cliché but candlelight is flattering and creates instant ambience.

Buy some fresh-cut flowers. Wear a gorgeous silk robe. Play some seductive music.

This all sounds like the sort of stuff you might dream of HIM doing, right?

Yet showing him this kind of attention makes you both feel good. There is no rule saying you can’t be the one to be proactive in the romance department. Taking the effort to create a romantic mood elevates the whole experience. The sex doesn’t have to be tender or sweet either. You can still get down and dirty despite the romantic setting. If that’s what you are into 😉