Obviously when writing information about SEX, I am going to spend a bunch of time talking about genitals…
But there are COUNTLESS other erogenous zones on our bodies…
All of these overlooked little nooks and crannies and hot buttons that can AMP up your sexual pleasure and create that SENSUAL tsunami you want! 🙂
I’m going to show you…
- Â how to use the “temple” method to joyfully explore each other
- Â and SIMPLE tricks that will cause a trail goosepimples to spring up…from his scalp to his toes
Remember, enjoying touch and things that feel good…as well as giving/receiving pleasure are at the cornerstones of being a Sensual Tsunami Woman 🙂
Where are the Body’s Erogenous Zones?
I will list them out, from head to toe…just to get your whet your imagination a little
scalp
ears
face
lips
neck
shoulders
breasts / chest
nipples
tummy
inner arms / armpit
hands
back
sides of rib cage
thighs
feet
…and genitals obviously 😉
That’s a LOT of body parts! And chances are, you as well as your man have a few on here I didn’t even list!
And a huge part of the fun in store for you is all the DELICIOUS experimenting you get to do!
Fun fact: Do you know what causes goosebumps? Goosebumps are an involuntary reaction to things like cold as well as strong emotions, like arousal. The brain sends a message to the tiny little muscles around the hair follicles causing them to retract.
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Gather Up Some Supplies
There are sooooo many things you can use on this erotic touch adventure!
The good news is there are a lot of things you already have in your own home…things like:
- feathers (a cat toy can even be used, you know the ones with feathers on a stick)
- ice cubes
- a chain necklace
- a beaded necklace (anything from cheap plastic beads to your grandma’s pearls)
- candle wax (use soft paraffin wax candles with no scent or color – they melt at a lower temp making dripping wax on skin safer)
- massage oil…or coconut or olive oil
- body lotion
- silk scarf or necktie
- your own fingers
- …and anything you might think of experimenting with!
When we get to the specific techniques, I might call out an item that you don’t have that you might consider buying. But for this first phase, you can just use what you have on hand!
Try It Out on Yourself
The foundation of being sensual is knowing what you like. And while you can’t easily tickle yourself (it’s pretty impossible to surprise your own brain), you can see what it feels like to experience a variety of sensations across your own erogenous zones.
From your list of supplies, gather up a few things you want to try out.
In a private moment, experiment with touching them against different parts of your body.
Try a slow, languid stroke…then try a slap or spank.
Lightly use your fingernails against your inner arm.
Slide an ice cube down your inner thigh.
Drag a feather across your neck.
Put your chain necklace in the fridge for an hour or so, then run it across your shoulders or your chest.
Massage your own scalp.
And you probably already have a favorite body oil or body lotion you use that feels oh-so-amazing on your skin.
See how it feels. What did you like? Did anything surprise you?
Make note of the things you particularly enjoyed. You will use that info later!
Time to Experiment
The great thing with sensual touch is that it’s a wonderful way to play. Have fun experimenting and seeing what feels good!
Some techniques will lead to an obvious sexual arousal response but the goal with this touching isn’t to end up having sex…at least not necessarily! 🙂
Once you learn the special secret hot buttons of your man…the ones that don’t involve his penis…you can develop your own secret sexy language of touch.
You can sneakily run your fingernail on the backside of his ear…or rub your palm in a certain slow circle he likes on the small of his back…while you are in the most innocent situations. It’s a wonderful way to stay physically connected and enjoying each other’s touch outside of the bedroom.
Following are a variety of techniques and ideas. Try out a few…or try them all out! I bet the more you experiment, the more you will discover how much your own imagination will blossom.
Also, with each of these, while you will be the one introducing or suggesting the activity, you can decide if it’s just a treat for him or if you want him to reciprocate. Just say “my turn!” or invite him to come up with his own way to sensually touch you back!
Drawing Pictures
This is one of my personal favorites. While lying down in bed, have him face his back toward you and either take off his shirt or lift it up so the skin is exposed. Using just the tip of your finger or your fingernail, “draw” a picture on his back and have him guess what you drew.
It’s like a sexier game of Pictionary.
The sensations feel great and it’s funny to hear his guesses. This technique is a great one to take turns with, too!
Scalp Massage
A lot of people involuntarily clench the muscles in their scalp, especially when tense. So giving your man a focused scalp massage feels AMAZING and it’s also therapeutic.
Use the pads of your fingers and rub in small circles on his temple, hairline, back of the neck, behind his ears…even where his jaw connects. You can use slightly bigger circles on the bigger part of his scalp, including the base and down the back of his neck. Ask him if he’d like more (or less) pressure in your strokes.
You can also use your fingernails in his hair and lightly across his scalp, too.
Shampoo Girl
Taking the scalp massage to the tub, do the exact same thing while he’s either in the bath or while taking a shared shower. Massaging shampoo into his scalp will feel very loving…plus it just feels great to have someone else wash your hair! I know it’s my favorite part of going to the salon 🙂
Kiss Massage
Using your lips rather than your hands, flutter little smooches all over his body. Use a little sucking and some tongue flicking, too. This is meant to just be a sensual touch..although when he sees your head moving south, his little soldier is bound to spring to attention. It’s up to you if you want to indulge him…but perfectly okay to keep this massage sensual and not sexual. Plus the opportunity to tease by brushing your lips juuuust over the top of him and then continuing down his legs is super fun!
Slow Tickle
It’s like that old game called Tickle Torture but slower and sexier. Use your fingernails or fingers to slowly and very very lightly graze the most tickle-prone parts of his body. Inside the arms, the arm pits, down the ribs, behind the ears, the lower abdomen, and the backside of his legs and knees. You can try feet, too, as long as he’s not too terribly ticklish there.
As you lightly tickle, when his body clenches and recoils and he begins to giggle, stop. Let him calm down and then move to a new body part. The point here is to elicit giggles rather than cause him to guffaw. This can be heightened even more if you blindfold him and then randomly switch the places you are touching. The element of anticipation and surprise adds an extra zing for him.
Captive Audience
Try this one when you are both “stuck” in a place. This can be while driving, or while watching a concert, even while out for drinks or dinner. As you are sitting next to him, slowly begin to massage his arms. Then begin to lightly stroke his leg. Knead his muscles beneath his pants. Move to the inner thigh and work your way up slowly. As you get close to his groin, move back to the top of the thigh and move your massaging toward his knee.
Repeat that motion, only this time, you can lightly and sneakily (if in public) graze your hand over his crotch. You aren’t going to launch into a hand-job here (I mean if you want to, I’m not going to stop you – and I bet he won’t either)…but the point is to let him enjoy the massage and have a teeny bit of frustration with your teasing too.
The Long Exploration
Now is the time for you to gather up your goodies you listed above! Rather than try out one thing at a time, I love love love taking a long stretch of time just for experimenting. Tell him you want to explore sensual touch. It’s not sex…necessarily…it’s more to just discover what feels good to each other.
To prepare, set the mood. Dim the lights, light some soft-wax paraffin candles. Put on a long playlist of music. And have enough time, without interruptions, to really dive in!
You can start by getting partially undressed and kissing and lightly touching. You can do a technique like the kiss massage along with a scalp massage to really get him relaxed.
Once he’s mellow, you can introduce a blindfold. This may seem kinky but really, eliminating one of the senses (sight) amplifies the others. It’s going to make the touch sensations he’s experiencing from you that much more powerful.
Once the blindfold is secure, begin by trying out different items against his body parts. Try to tune into your intuition and imagine, from your own experimenting, what will feel good for him.
You can playfully ask him to guess what you are using and see if he can figure it out.
Take your time to enjoy giving him these sensations. Make a mental note of the things he seems to like in particular.
You can end things with a nice full-body massage…or you can transition into him experimenting on you…or you may just dissolve into a blissful lovemaking session. Like I always say, there isn’t a wrong way to do any of these things! Just have fun 🙂
A Word on Anal Play
Okay, I said I wasn’t going to talk about genitals or “sex” specifically in this lesson…but the booty does deserve its own little shout out.
Anal play is not everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s cool. However, it IS one of the body’s most highly charged erogenous zones.
If you are at all curious about just experimenting with how your anus-region can give you some surprising thrills, keep reading for some things to try.
NOTE: It is a health and safety reason that any toys you use in your bum are marked “bum only”.
There are certain bacteria that flourish in the rectum that can be bad news to get up in the rest of your lady bits. Additionally, any fingers venturing in that area need to be cleaned before and after and take care that nails are trimmed and filed. It is highly sensitive tissue and small tears in those tissues can become big problems. And LUBE UP!
Butt Plugs
Butt plugs sound awful but they can be quite fun, for both of you. The come in a variety of sizes and have a larger “end” so it makes it less likely one could get end up too far in and lost inside. Eek! The sensation of having your anus “full” during intercourse or as you climax is surprisingly enjoyable.
Anal Beads
These toys look like they sound. It’s a series of beads, graduated in size from large to small, on a sturdy string. At the end of the string is a usually a loop or some kind of handle. You insert the beads as far as you want into the anus and then slowly pull them out.
Vibrators and Dildos
It’s important again to buy booty-specific vibes and dildos. One in order to not cross-contaminate…but two, because these are designed with a special larger end so they won’t slip too far in requiring a recovery expedition. They come in sizes petite to OHMYGOODNESS. It’s recommended to start on the petite side of things to begin with 😉
Prostate Massage
As discussed in our lessons about male anatomy as well as in Stroke of Genius, massaging the prostate provides INSANE pleasure during a guy’s orgasm. Like eyeballs-popping-out-of-his-head AMAZING. Again, not every guy is keen on sticking anything up his poop chute so this might take some convincing. But there are specially designed anal toys that vibrate against the prostate. If you can encourage him to try it out, he may end up bowing down to you in awe.
You can browse the anal toy shopping section of websites like Babeland.com or Ticklekitty.com…or just pop into your local adult shop. The people who work there are generally super helpful and can answer any type of question you may have!
